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HUSBAND OR WIFE Interventions
Arranging an intervention for a husband or wife requires a commitment from a family member that is willing to work with a certified professional interventionist. The purpose of an intervention is to interrupt the process of a wife or husband’s drug and/or alcohol use, provide services for a loved one’s addictions, and assist with finding the best possible treatment.
By the time you get to this phase of wanting to obtain help and thinking that it is time to do something different, you are tired of the day-to-day routine of your loved one’s self-destructive behaviors. Your marriage is most likely affected by the use of drugs or alcohol and it is causing much grief, loss, and emotional pain in your relationship. You may even be ready to leave the relationship because you cannot, and will not, live in this cycle of denial any longer. You need help.
Having to come to terms with arranging for an intervention for your husband or wife is challenging in itself due to the stigma of shame, guilt, and remorse. There is also the fear that your husband or wife will never forgive you. Once again, you feel like you are being held hostage in your own home. Day by day, you may even be slipping into your own coping skills -- using food, work, school, self-destructive behaviors to avoid confronting your loved one-- believing that maybe if you change, they too will change.
You may be looking for the end result of an intervention, but without actually hiring a professional interventionist. Perhaps you are concerned about exposing your life to your other family members, trying desperately to make things look good from the outside so that no one will notice that things are not good. The thoughts of how to do this without involving other family members, the remorse, guilt, betrayal feelings can take over your mind. You might be thinking, "how can I get out of this situation without letting everyone know the truth?” You may also worry that you will never be forgiven. You may even be blaming yourself and others for the drug and alcohol abuse.
Making the decision to marry the love of your life is a big commitment, for better or for worse. Staying and keeping yourself in a dysfunctional relationship, you can feel as if there is an elephant in the room. Avoiding the elephant day in and day out, always worrying about how you need to act and react in order to get through your day without disruption and conflict with the addicted person, becomes the focus of your entire life. Marriage is not a one-sided commitment; it is an act of inter-dependence, love, honesty, and internal openness to one another. Most of all, it is a feeling safety and security in a home that you share with your wife or husband.
There is no way out other than to accept and acknowledge that drugs and/or alcohol dictate your life, and you are living in misery. You, too, might be part of the problem by keeping the secret of your husband or wife’s addiction to drugs or alcohol. It is important to pick up the phone, and say the words, “I need help”. You must accept that you cannot do this alone and that your husband or wife, if left untreated, will progressively get worse from drug or alcohol addiction. You will inevitably become more and more consumed with holding onto the lie, and you will lose touch with your own self.
At Interventions Canada, we are fully certified to offer professional support services to start on your own path of recovery so that your husband or wife can also recover. Having access to family consultation, family intervention, rehab assistance, and most of all having someone to listen to your needs will give you the reassurance of understanding that you are not alone.
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